My Family,
I am just one of five girls..In the middle..that's me..left a bit.
.Yup.. that's me.. Curly hair, red top.
I have two older sisters, two younger. - I was the oldest..at 6 months old my Parents adopted my two elder Sisters, and when I was 5 my Sister Helen arrived, nearly 5 years after that, my youngest sister Christine.
One of my twin Aunts also lived with us, she used to work on cruise liners but needed somewhere to live when she came back to the U.k in the early 70's.
Our house was full of people and noise, each bedroom had music blaring as teenagers tend to do niggles and spats about bedroom boundaries for those of us who shared..- we all had different tastes, and played totally different types of music repeatedly , So my father used to escape to the garage for peace and quiet..
Any music was always interrupted by my Mother shouting..
Will you turn that dreadful noise DOWN!??
She always said she hated music but I'll always wonder..Did she love music before she had us or did we put her off for life?
My Dad was the music lover.. I still remember him singing the Banana boat song by Harry Belafonte to this day. It still makes me cry..
I was given a very old gramophone player by my twin Aunties, along with a few records when I was 8 - but at home, it was like a growing crescendo of notes turning into white noise..that very quickly turned into a blaring row between Cliff Richard, Bay City Rollers, The sound of music, Elvis, Queen & black Sabbath from every part of the house.
We weren't all allowed to turn on or tune in at the same time after a while.. we started to have to take turns, our own time slots throughout the day.
It seemed like we shared everything including space and time..
Now I'm living alone I still feel echoes from the past and have never felt really at home anywhere else..
My cousin came over one day, he jumped up and down on my old gramophone player, squashed it flat and that was the end of that.. His name was Philip but I couldn't pronounce his name so forever after he was always sickit to me..
I had Tadpoles in a glass tank in my bedroom, I was very shy, quiet, loved my books but felt comforted by all the background noise, especially when I was behind the sofa hiding from Dr Who & the 'Dar-licks' or in a broom cupboard with a book & torch..although there never seemed to be total silence.. Ever.
We woke up 'twirly' every morning, at ten years old, I remember it was very hard to stay in place where we were put especially at 5am when we couldn't sleep.. Hungry, thirsty, cold, sister in need of a nappy change, boredom sets in.. So the younger ones screamed louder trying to wake the dead. and there is nobody left on earth but your sisters crying and hundreds of pigeons cooing outside the window.. and a book to escape into another world..
There were always family popping in and out and Sunday was family Salad day.. Lol.
I had my books and imagination, I loved all of my family but I really didn't like that much company, just appreciated the background noise.. I told myself I didn't need anything or anybody and I still have a tendency to do that today.. I used to put the radio on just for the noise but I no longer do that.. I've got quite used to being alone.
We used to play in the tree house we made in the back garden, go blackberry picking with our cousins - make apple & blackberry pies & Crumbles by the hundreds to freeze.. We had 7 really old apple trees in the back garden at the bottom, an ancient Damson tree and blackberries and brambles which separated our house from the estate at the bottom of our garden..
Dad bought a huge long freezer - It took up the whole length of the garage.
He used to bring home half a cow, chop it up to freeze.. and we used to visit the local markets to get our Veg.. He loved to cook.. especially late at night when we were all in bed.. the smell used to waft up the stairs and into our noses..just to wake us up..
A few of us used to creep out, trying not to wake our Mother or the other children. to sit on a stair each in our Jim Jam's waiting to be invited down for a sneaky snack in the middle of the night.. Dad was our Hero ally & Bacon Buddy..
There was a huge silver birch in the middle of the garden which we could see from the kitchen window.. We played underneath in the shade as there was remnants of old broken paving to stand on instead of the grass..
There was an underground stream towards the bottom of the garden that used to rise up invisibly in the cooler weather so always the chance of getting wet feet..and our garden turning into Shrek's swamp..
We could hide away at the bottom of the garden, it was so long we couldn't see our house from way down at the end.. We used to pretend we were in the jungle instead.
The best thing about our garden was our rabbits! We started out with two.. which quickly turned into 14 after I thought it was a good idea to put them together. they looked really lonely in separate cages.. My Rabbit was called rainbow because he was jet black.. (just to be awkward) that's me.. ;)
We took turns with housework and chores.. and handed down toys and clothes between us, we were never quite ready to let our things go, and got used to sharing so much, we could never remember which 'thing' belonged to which person, that's how we learned to take it in turns..It's funny how little things are so important to children & what we remember as adults.
That really didn't extend to my feelings, I thought a lot about life but rarely said anything. With my books and my fantasies of belonging in another space and time I just wanted peace more than anything else. I got my wish when I moved out at 19 to get married.
Our house was very big but it came with the Job, so after my father retired early from ill health they had to move as they were too old to get a mortgage that late in life.
We had very little money as a family and a very strict religious upbringing, which is not a bad thing, you are protected to a certain extent.. but when we grew up it took us a while to work out our own take on the world..
Having such a large house, it made it a very easy target for burglars..
My parents were burgled eight times while they were living there.. burglars forced open the kitchen window and we found my Mother's purse hanging upside down on the rotary washing line outside along with the house keeping.
And when we got our very first TV, we went out for the day, when we came back and my sister went to put the TV on, there was just an empty space and wires. total confusion..
The last burglary was the worst.. We had already moved out by that time and my parents gave up the house and moved to private accommodation - it was certainly safer.. All that glitters is not gold..
It was all down to outward appearances.. Preconceived ideas..People have no idea what goes on, they just have their own agenda regardless. I don't think people like this have learned empathy at all.. I know we aren't usually born with it it grows.
I'm an empath. I have learned how to control a lot of negative feelings from others and the amount of time I spend with them or I start to sink..
Being outdoors in nature is very important to me and pets are an essential part of my life. I also need alone time, for solitude: I go stir-crazy if I can't get quiet time on my own.
Have you ever felt like that?
.. I don't think you can take or give empathy away.. I think that you are stuck with it once it's implanted into your psyche and becomes part of your character.. Not always a good thing.. It really hurts sometimes, especially watching the news or reading newspapers.. But we have to learn how to let go of a lot of things we can't control in life.
Yeah we had a huge house but sometimes during bad times we took it in turns to go down to the local veg stall to collect cabbage leaves for our rabbits.. and ended up steaming them for ourselves as we couldn't always afford to eat.. there were good times and bad, but we all stuck together like glue.. and then suddenly it ended.
We have a very large family but just like a lot of people who grow up and move away our Family circle grew smaller and smaller, we kept in touch by email & Social Media.. Weddings & Funerals, like a lot of families I guess but its sometimes too sad to look back at what was a very tight knit family, now scattered all over the world..
My Inspiration will always be my Father who was in the Merchant Navy, an Officer, and an Engineer. When he retired from the sea He was Deputy Chief Engineer for the group District Hospitals. He taught me so many things without telling me or teaching me but just by showing me the way to follow - by his example.
He Married my Mother, took on her brothers and sisters as her parents had died when she was only 14, and adopted my two older sisters.. He was the Pillar of our Family. My Mother was the backbone, she was a very strong woman, Strong beyond words. My Dad would do anything for anyone. People under-estimated him- looked down on him because he didn't feel the need to brag or push himself forward, a very clever man with a wicked sense of humor..Even in his late 70's he still had the authority to inspect every ship and could deem them un-seaworthy.. I don't think he ever did.
He could quite easily have used his authority and his qualifications to .
stroke his ego.. but he had no ego. I would love to meet a man like that one day, that is what I am waiting for.. Somebody worthy of my idiosyncratic ways and peculiar views on life.. ;)
My Dad was Love. He was born in Port Talbot and went to School with some very famous Welsh Actors but he always make a joke about everything so you were never sure whether he was being serious or not.
The stories he used to tell about his travels around the world, the antics aboard ship.. and especially about the drunk Parrot will live on forever. Whereas I love a good joke, I can never remember any..
People call me Jack Dee..I can keep a straight face with tongue in cheek
& have a very dry sense of humour.. It's not a bad nickname, I suppose Lol.
My Father used to carry me outside late at night to look at the stars and tell me all about the constellations and how great God was when I was very small. My love for astronomy, animals and nature stems from that point..
With my Grandfathers love of gardening and his Rose bushes, my Welsh Grandmother's inquisitive nature and her love of animals, and my Mother's steely determination and creative side. I had a great start. I was brought up in the 60's/70's with green fingers a love of poetry, reading huge piles of books, with very strong family values..
If I am feeling sad or alone nowadays, I'll head for the sea and spend some time in peace and quiet reflection, I come back feeling uplifted and ready to carry on. I get exactly the same feeling on the back of a motorbike, Total freedom, just to get out there and breathe, it blows some cobwebs away.
I like my own company and I don't have to be around people to make myself feel validated, sometimes I feel lonely but I inflict it on myself on purpose so I can't complain when I change my mind and suddenly decide I need some noise in my life.Lol. The very first thing I remember learning from my Father was how to serve others with gratitude...we learned how to share very early on. ;) And the Second? that not everyone will look and see who you really are or understand, but just look at face value and that doesn't matter as long as you know who you are and what you stand for..
To have strong core values, find out what you stand for, your own personal values. getting to know yourself inside and out.. It all helps to stabilize your environment.
When calamity strikes and we don't know which way to turn, we know that whatever happens to us, we will always get through with grace and on an even keel. To have a positive attitude takes hard work and patience.
I practiced using the 30 day challenge.. it really works.
A peaceful nature is far more important, to give rather than to receive, sometimes its worth losing an argument just to keep the peace! You do receive more in the long run, but only if you aren't looking for instant gratification. You also receive peace of mind, which is far more important than winning a battle and losing friends and family in the process.
Improving yourself and the lives of others goes a long way towards inner peace and self-development. My purpose in life I guess is to inspire others to realize that they have just as much right to be successful as anyone else in life and that can be achieved by determination and to keep on moving in the right direction with a positive attitude and determination to overcome every obstacle thats thrown in their direction. We can't avoid the bad things in life but we don't have to let them take a hold on us, or bring us down.
Negative thinking can be erased as Positive thinking is enforced..Slowly but surely we realize that its self limiting beliefs that stop us doing what we are really capable of
to live a fulfilling happy life!
To be happy in the short time we are on earth is very important. To have the ability to raise someone up to make their life better is even more so, to never give up and to make the best of our situation. We can train ourselves to think positive thoughts and take active steps to progress in life.
I love inspiring quotes and positive people..
Welcome to my life :)
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